AVOIDING THE ‘I DESERVE’
Over and over I hear my most hated phrase; ‘I deserve it’. I believe this line of thinking is the bane of our modern existence.
Most often when one utters this phrase, they are referring to a purchase they can’t afford, a food they are not to eat, or a situation they don’t belong in.
Don’t we all ‘deserve’ the basic necessities of shelter and food? I think most of us feel so – particularly if ours is threatened. Yet there are many people who live without these basic amenities – deserving or not.
Don’t children ‘deserve’ parental love? Yes, but many still don’t get it. We all know the state of the lives of the many abandoned or neglected children in this world – even those in our own countries.
So what relevance does what you ‘deserve’ play into anything?
Truth be told, we humans don’t ‘deserve’ a single thing – except maybe punishment, when it is due. Our life is a gift, every second of it. Even that, is not something we can say we deserved – it was indeed gifted to us.
“I work hard, I deserve a vacation”.
What about the millions of people who do back breaking labour and cannot even afford to feed their families? Look into the life of a sulphur miner in Indonesia. Awful. Don’t they deserve a vacation? Do you think they will get one? Not likely. Many of them will die up on the mountain, shoulders broken and bleeding, feet raw.
“I work hard I deserve a nicer place to live.”
Do you also ‘deserve’ the debt and stress that comes with over extending yourself? What happened to being happy with what you have?
Do you deserve the ill health that comes with bingeing on your favourite foods? Or the future instability that comes with constantly gifting yourself unnecessarily, and refusing to ‘tighten belts’ when the time calls for it?
Why not change your perspective, and instead feel grateful for the things your life has granted you? Wipe the “I deserve” phrase out of your vocabulary altogether. Please.
YOU DESERVE IT?
“I deserve” has made us over weight, over-consumptive, unhappy and overly self absorbed – as a whole. If you are able to afford the luxuries you enjoy, do so with gratitude – not an attitude of ‘I deserve’.
If you can change your perspective on what you ‘deserve’, and realize you truly deserve nothing – none of us do – and understand that the phrase doesn’t even mean anything, and instead be grateful for all that your life has afforded you, you will be happier.
‘I deserve’ cancels out gratefulness.
When you feel you deserve, you are not appreciating what you have, you are focussing on what you don’t have – and being quite negative about it! Many people live this way – forever – never feeling they have enough, never feeling they have what they ‘deserve’.
Have you been working on changing your perspective, and making yourself happier?
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln